With empathy emerging as one of the most in-demand leadership qualities, companies dominated by male, military style leaders are quietly floundering like a sinking ship. Because most men are not known for their natural empathy, this presents a major challenge for 90% of male leaders.
Generally speaking, women have a much greater capacity for empathy than men. There are a number of reasons for this – apart from their natural maternal instinct that triggers empathy in women, as young girls reach puberty and start menstruating, they all experience the pain which comes with this natural part of being a woman. And because each of them experiences that pain, they completely understand when one of their friends talks about their pain. This plays a major role in women developing empathy – they know what it feels like.
Men are spared such pain so never have the opportunity to share the pain of others.
If you’re a male and you’re reading this, here’s a quick empathy test for you: When you’ve finished using the toilet to urinate, do you put the toilet seat back down again?
If you do, you’re on your way to being empathetic! If you don’t, read the writing on the wall – you actually have very little, if any, empathy in that you don’t care about the “next person” who’s going to use the toilet.
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s about walking in someone else’s shoes, seeing the world through their eyes and genuinely connecting with their joys, challenges and aspirations. In a company dominated by a military style leadership and a bottom line approach with a focus on profit margins, empathy is frowned upon and dismissed as a weakness. I know. I’ve engaged with such leaders over many years.
In a company with emotionally mature and emotionally intelligent leaders, however, empathy is regarded as a massive strength, injecting a vital dose of humanity into the culture of the company and triggering loyalty, focus and commitment in its people.
It’s therefore not merely a soft skill, but a powerful force that shapes the organisation’s culture, drives productivity and nurtures trust throughout the organisation. Today’s leaders require a lot more than strategic acumen or an ability to make decisions. They require a deep understanding of human emotions and experiences, and empathy is what enables them to lead effectively.
This might sound like I’m stating the obvious, but business leadership has evolved from leading organisations to leading … people.
In light of this, one of the key roles of a leader is to inspire and motivate their people. Empathy acts as a catalyst for such inspiration. By empathising with employees, leaders can acknowledge their individual strengths and challenges. They can offer genuine support and encouragement, creating an environment where individuals feel accepted, valued and empowered to reach their full potential. When employees feel seen, heard and understood, they are more likely to be engaged loyal, and motivated to achieve ambitious goals.
Another win for empathetic leaders is that they are much better at communication and conflict resolution than those who lack empathy. Leaders with empathy can engage in open and honest dialogue, where concerns and differences can be freely expressed and addressed. This not only strengthens relationships within the team but also enhances problem-solving capabilities. Instead of resorting to authoritarian directives, empathetic leaders collaborate with their people to find solutions that benefit everyone involved.
With all the uncertainty that is part of everyday life, empathy becomes even more powerful. It enables leaders to navigate the storms encountered with compassion and understanding, allowing them to connect with the fears and anxieties of their team members, provide reassurance and ensure stability amidst chaos. Very importantly, it helps nurture resilience and unity, turning challenges into opportunities for growth and innovation.
The influence of empathetic leaders is, significantly, not confined to the workplace. Empathetic leadership has broader societal implications. As the world grapples with complex issues like inequality, injustice and environmental issues, empathetic leaders have the power to drive positive change. By understanding the diverse perspectives and experiences of all stakeholders, they can promote inclusive policies, sustainable practices and socially responsible strategies.
However, leading with empathy is not always easy, especially in highly competitive or high-pressure environments. It requires humility, active listening and a willingness to step outside one’s own perspective. When a leader is able to achieve this, they nurture healthier, more productive work environments and leave a lasting legacy of compassion and understanding long after they have moved on.
So … if you want to build an organisation and a society that thrive on a foundation of understanding, compassion and mutual acceptance and respect, it’s time to start developing more empathy!
Alan Hosking is the Publisher of HR Future magazine, www.hrfuture.net and @HRFuturemag. He is an internationally recognised authority on leadership competencies for the future and teaches experienced and younger business leaders how to lead with empathy, compassion, integrity, purpose and agility. He has been an Age Management Coach for two decades and is the author of parenting best seller What Nobody Tells a New Father.
