Around the world there are so many things happening that are distressing and difficult that it is sometimes hard to be optimistic and hopeful about the future. 2024 was a tough for me personally, and this is my year to turn the page. I believe that 2025 will be a time of finding flourishing (i.e., a holistic state of well-being that includes positive psychological functioning, social engagement, and the realization of one’s potential) and flow (i.e., complete absorption in an activity in a positive and rewarding way). By focusing on things that I can control, I can promote positivity for myself and for the organization I lead and with my clients. Finding ways to flourish and find flow in our lives, both personally and professionally, is within our control and is rewarding.
I found it interesting that the most read Stanford Social Innovation Review article of 2024 was the excellent piece about Healing Systems written about trauma by my friend Katherine Milligan. Trauma is a topic that touches us all, whether the traumas that we have experienced are big or little. We carry our traumas with us throughout our lives. They become part of the fabric of who we are. How we use these experiences to inform our lives going forward is our choice.
As Katherine mentions in the article, “Leaders must recognize both their own trauma and the systemic trauma that impacts others. The more influence a person has — whether via their leadership role, connections, or available resources — the more impact they have on any given system [i.e., their organization]. If system leaders make decisions in an activated state or act out their trauma responses on others — for example through controlling behavior, blaming, denial, dehumanization, or numbness — the systems they influence will mirror those same patterns.”
I believe that growing our self-awareness, and focusing on personal wellbeing, can be helpful in both our personal and professional lives. As leaders, it is important to reflect on how we are dealing (or not) with our past trauma, and what the ripple effect is on our colleagues. Homing in on our personal purpose, and how it affects our leadership style, can be beneficial to help us focus on the possible. Having a positive purpose builds a flourishing sense of self — and it is contagious. As I continuously learn and strive to be a better leader, I also increase my self-awareness and understanding of how I influence others.
Here are the ways that I am looking to grow as a leader, flourish professionally, and find my flow in 2025. I hope that in doing so I will also positively impact those around me:
· Finding meaning in our lives[1]. There are four ways that people generally use to try to find meaning in their lives: 1) purpose, 2) values, 3) efficacy, and 4) self-worth. Rarely do we find these in one place. Often, they come through work, family, hobbies, community, etc. As leaders, creating a collective “story” of bringing as many of these elements into the workplace often leads to creating a strong culture that binds people together in collective efforts. To be the author of a compelling and inspiring story of the organization we lead, we must first write our own story and feel good about it. Making sense of our experiences and building the life we want ripples into how we lead. A great way that I have found to unpack my own meaning is to ask myself: “What do I really want in my life?” That often leads me down a path that is fulfilling.
I also find finding the meaning of life has a lot to do with being happy. The science of happiness is interesting as happiness sometimes feels elusive. Dr. Laurie Santos describes it well. Happiness has two components: being happy in your life (your emotional state) and being happy with your life (cognitive part — how you think your life is going). Either one can be up or down, or they can be in balance. A key way to increase your emotional state is to connect with people — in person. This is hard for me as my work is almost 100% virtual. I am making sure I sprinkle in walking meetings, walking meetings, coffee dates, business lunches, local professional association meetings, and social events. I find this helps balance my 2D Zoom work life and I feel better when I get some real face time.
· Using the magic ratio of positive to negative for a flourishing life. There are three states of living: flourishing, normal, and languishing[2]. Did you know that there is a specific ratio of positive to negative interactions (at least 3:1) required in everyday life just live a normal life? Anything less and you are languishing. Once you to get to 5:1 you are flourishing.
For example, at work, if someone tells you they don’t like your PowerPoint presentation (one bad interaction), you need five positive interactions to offset this and fill your bucket back up to get you back to a state of flourishing. Doing the math this is something like interacting with five colleagues that 1) thank you for the cup of coffee, 2) compliment your new sweater, 3) appreciate your new idea for client outreach,4) send you a smiling emoji when you returned the survey on time, and 5) request you to work on a new project with them). Keeping this magic ratio of 5:1 in mind, and finding ways to create positive experiences for employees, is essential to promote workplace flourishing.
· Taking on three life projects[3]. A key element of flourishing is the ability to rise to a challenge. Turning a challenge into a project is a way to bring it to life — flourishing in practice. The science behind this is that focusing on projects can help produce the magic flourishing ratio of > 5:1 and give you a sense of meaning, control, and satisfaction. It is even better if the projects are focused in different parts of your life (i.e., work, family, fun).
I already picked my projects for this year: 1) starting (another) new business that is based on flourishing! 2) helping my younger son navigate his first year at university; and 3) training for an ultracycling event — the Race Around Denmark.
· Finding flow. Flow is about finding joy in what I am doing and losing myself. Flow means I am hyper focused, lose sense of time, am concentrating fully, forget about the worries in my life, and experience a sense of satisfaction. Flow feels GOOD and tips my magic ratio into the flourishing zone.
Finding flow is easy to do in my free time — when riding my bike, listening to music, cooking, creating a photo book, writing a blog, meditating, hiking, doing yoga, puzzling, etc.
At work, I need to more intentionally seek out ways to find my flow. For me it is when I am helping others be their best selves, sharing new ideas that spark excitement in colleagues, and creating a transformational change through new ways of thinking. This can be through 1:1 executive coaching, implementing new tools with my executive team that make our work easier, developing a new strategy, closing a deal that will grow the business, onboarding a new client, facilitating a meaningful workshop, etc. 2025 for me is an opportunity to consciously and intentionally seek out more ways to find my flow, especially at work.
A tool that has helped me find flow at work is an exercise to find my “zone of brilliance.” I learned this from my friend and team coach Julianna Christie at Crafted Leadership. By doing this exercise, you’ll gain clarity on not only what you are good at, but what you are good at AND love to do.
Practical Steps for 2025
Here are five practical steps for you to find your flow and to flourish in 2025:
- Self-Reflection: Regularly assess how you’re dealing with personal challenges and how actions affect your leadership style.
- Positive Interactions: Consciously create and acknowledge positive experiences in your workplace and personal life.
- Purpose-Driven Leadership: Align your leadership with a positive purpose to build a flourishing sense of self and inspire others.
- Flow Activities: Identify and engage in activities that bring you into a state of flow regularly.
- Life Projects: Choose three meaningful projects for the year that span different areas of your life.
By focusing on flourishing and flow in 2025, we can not only improve our own lives but also positively impact those around us. This approach allows us to navigate challenges with resilience and optimism, creating a ripple effect of positivity in our personal and professional spheres. Remember, the journey to flourishing is ongoing. Each step we take towards positivity and growth contributes to a more fulfilling life and a brighter future. Let’s make 2025 a year of intentional flourishing and flow, inspiring others along the way.
[1] Baumeister, Roy, Meanings of Life
[2] Gaffney, Maureen, Flourishing, pg 24.
[3] Gaffney, Maureen, Flourishing, pg 133.
This article first appeared on Medium.
